• Lillyan Jiles


I use to say, “I’m a survivor.” I’m a survivor of child abuse. I’m a survivor of sexual abuse. I’m a survivor of partner abuse. I don’t say that anymore because when you survive something, that means you made it through. It’s another way of saying you lived through it. It may have been by the skin of your teeth or with some bruises and wounds, but despite it all, you came out on the other side. That used to be enough for me, until I saw how those wounds and bruises that I carried continued to affect me. They influenced how I viewed life, myself, and the people around me. They had changed me. We lose some things in the storms of our lives, however we gain other things as well.

What Have You Lost and Gained In The Storm ?

The "storm," those dark periods in our lives, will diminish your ability to hope for the best without preparing for the worst. Our ability to expect the best of people and not the worst will fade. Our ability to give all we have without a guarantee on a return will parishes away with no understanding of how or comprehension of why. Our innocence and knowledge to know what real love looks like will depart from us in the storm. Our self worth and our ability to sacrifice for the ones we claim to love and more are all lost in the storms.

Unfortunately we don’t emerge from the storm empty. We escape with doubt of ourselves and other people. We flee holding on to fear and anxiety. We skate out with bitterness, anger, and rage. We seem to just make it through carrying jealousy, envy, and pain. We roll out with self-righteousness, entitlement , and pride. If we are not careful, we’ll exchange the things meant to help us through the storm for the dead weight that will only keep us stagnant in life.

Conquer the Storm

The meaning of conquering is to overcome and take control resulting in a successful outcome. I came out of storms with bagged that wouldn't allow me to show up in life as the best version of me. So I went back in the storm, asking myself those questions I asked you above. I made a list of the things that the storm had stolen from me and reclaimed them by building my strength in those weakened areas. The best part? I entered the storm on our own with a mission.

The storm looks a lot different when you enter it with a plan and determination. Gaining strength in those areas is you conquering the storm. You are not just getting through or skating by; you go in with the intention to overcome and take control, and you will succeed.

That’s how you conquer every storm.

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